Marriage Advice to Taylor Swift
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Everyone’s talking about Taylor Swift’s engagement. In fact, I was interviewed by Inside Edition yesterday about it, because as a family law attorney and law professor, I’ve spent years watching couples navigate the highs and lows of marriage and divorce, and I believe I have anecdotal insight.
So if I could sit down with Taylor for just a moment, here’s the advice I would share with her (and with anyone preparing for marriage).
Dear Travis and Taylor,
Congratulations! Marriage is such a beautiful gift, and I am thrilled for you two as you step into this next season.
God’s Design for Marriage
Marriage is God’s design. It’s meant to bless you, stretch you, and sanctify you.
But don’t fall for what the world says marriage is about.
Marriage may make you happy, but happiness is fleeting.
And don’t you dare run for the hills once it gets tough. Because it WILL, at some time, get tough.
Marriage is not meant to make you happy; it’s meant to make you holy.
You may not understand it now, but as you get to know your Creator (the one that made you and knows you best), you will understand.
The Longing of the Human Heart
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says that God has “set eternity in the human heart.”
That longing you feel—the inspiration behind so many of your songs – is ultimately a longing for God.
Travis cannot meet all of your eternal needs (and that’s not a knock on him!). You cannot meet all of his either. None of us can.
Only God can.
Marriage Is a Covenant, Not a Contract
Marriage is not just a legal agreement. It is a covenant.
When you leave and cleave, becoming one flesh, that means for life. Till death do you part.
The world has dumbed down marriage and and stripped it of its beauty.
Reject the world.
Yes, a prenup may protect your assets (and I have some pointers below) – but it won’t protect your heart. All the money in the world can’t replace the pain of something that was meant to be one being torn in two.
No matter how “bulletproof” your expensive lawyers promise your prenup will be, it won’t shield your heart or mind.
Instead, tend to your marriage.
My mom told me – like plants, you gotta water it every day.
Be good to one another.
Make Christ the center, the firm foundation of your life together. Couples with Christ at the center are less likely to break covenants.
Now, About Prenups
If you guys do sign a prenup, here are a few common provisions:
Change the Default – Waive Community Property
In California (and 8 other community property states), everything acquired during marriage – both assets and debts – is considered community property. That’s the default.
A prenup lets you change that default so each of you keeps your own, unless you say otherwise.
Alimony Waiver
You can agree that if divorce ever happens, neither of you will receive spousal support.
(Important note: child support is different—it can’t be waived.)
Separate Property Recitals
List what each of you owned before marriage so it’s clear and protected.
Don’t co-mingle if you want it to stay separate.
Gifts
You can state that large gifts (for example, over $10,000) remain the recipient’s property, not part of the marriage to be divided later.
Yes, I Have a Prenup
In the early stages of our marriage, I, too, naively thought a prenup was just there to protect my stuff in case we ever got divorced.
But now, after 20 years, it’s not the stuff I worry about.
All of that is replaceable.
What matters are our children, our memories, our hearts—the life we’ve built together over the past two decades.
I could walk away from the money, but walking away from the gift of marriage – that’s what would hurt.
A prenup cannot fix that. It is a legal document created by human hands; it cannot repair the breaking of God’s perfect design.
No prenup will ever heal the pain of divorce.
So my prayer is that you never, ever, ever have to see your prenup again. Focus instead on building a life together that treasures what really matters: your hearts, your family, and your covenant with God.
The True Foundation
So if you do get a prenup, my advice is this: sign it, put it away somewhere safe, and then never let it hang over your marriage. Build your life together with love, holiness, and eternity in mind.
Because Marriage is grand. Divorce? A hundred grand.®
And mostly, because God has blessed marriage. We weren’t meant to do this life alone. Marriage is companionship on this walk back to God.
Taylor and Travis, I love you guys
…and I believe God has amazing plans for you in His kingdom.
He has gifted you with a platform.
Use it for His glory.
And know this: I’ll be praying for you.
With love and prayers,
A fellow believer in God’s design for marriage
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