Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27
The Illusion of Control
Many clients come to me desperate, believing that hiring the right lawyer can “fix” a difficult spouse.
They hope that with enough legal skill, negotiation, or pressure, the impossible person in their life will suddenly cooperate.
Here’s the truth: no attorney can change another person’s heart.
Not me. Not a fierce “pit bull.” Not the gentlest mediator.
The legal system can enforce rights and responsibilities, but it cannot create peace, repentance, or love.
This is why Christians must remember: true resolution comes only through Christ.
True Story
There was once a client who wanted his divorce finalized by Christmas so he could enjoy a stress-free trip with his girlfriend. He was extremely generous financially toward his spouse, but he could not understand why she refused to sign the papers. He only saw his side: his desire for freedom, his frustration, and his plans.
What he couldn’t see was her perspective. She was facing loneliness during the holidays and the fear of being “left” to care for their child. To her, signing the papers immediately felt like surrendering her family and security. Her fear was crippling.
He wanted to go straight to court. But even if he filed immediately, the case wouldn’t be heard until March – the courts tend to slow down during the holidays, and everyone, judges included, tries to leave stress behind for a few weeks.
What Worked: Patience and Prayer
I told him to relax and be patient. I was sure that he would be interviewing other attorneys, but I was at peace.
Behind the scenes, I began to pray – not that she would sign, but that God would heal the emptiness in her heart, strengthen her, and ease her pain. I trusted that once God worked in her heart, she would see what was best for everyone.
And that’s exactly what happened. A few weeks later, she signed the papers willingly.
No court battle. No conflict. Just God working quietly, transforming hearts.
Why This Matters for Christians
This story illustrates a profound truth: the legal system and the people in it (like attorneys) has limits.
You cannot “win” in family court against someone who refuses to cooperate, at least not in the way your heart truly desires. You may get legal victories, but you cannot enforce peace, love, or reconciliation.
What to do as a Christian
Pray for wisdom and peace.
Ask God to guide your decisions and calm your heart.
Set healthy boundaries.
Protect yourself and your children within the limits of the law.
Be patient.
Let God work in hearts, even when it takes weeks—or months.
Focus on what you can control.
Your reactions, integrity, and trust in God’s timing.
The Miracle Isn’t Found in the Courtroom
Trying to “fix” a combative or uncooperative spouse through the legal system alone is almost always a losing battle.
Only Jesus can heal the emptiness, soften hearts, and bring real resolution.
Remember John 16:33 (NIV):
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
The courts may protect your rights, but God provides peace that transcends circumstances.
He can work quietly behind the scenes, in ways the legal system never can.
When we trust Him, act wisely, and pray faithfully, we can witness miracles – even in the most difficult relationships.
Not by Power, Not by Might, But By the Power of the Holy Spirit
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