Marriage Advice From Your Favorite Divorce Lawyer, Part Five
I’ve been a divorce attorney for over 21 years. I’ve been married for almost 15 years.
This is what I know. (Click here for Part 4, Part 3, Part 2, and Part 1)
Remember they are your spouse’s parents. And if you have children, their grandparents. As such, never badmouth them. Remember this saying? “What Susie says about Sally says more about Susie than Sally”. They may be be different than you, but NEVER portray them as bad.
Communicate with your spouse without critical language. For exmple, instead of “Your parents are racist!” Say, “I am a minority. I feel uncomfortable when your family says affirmative action unfairly benefits minorities.”
Check in with your spouse during family visits. You may need to set boundaries with your spouse as to the duration of your visits prior to the visits.
Ride the Waves!
My husband is a surfer. The trick to surfing is “riding the waves”. Life isn’t always smooth and marriage will not always be calm waters.
You may go through periods where you don’t feel as close, or close at all. There may be difficulties.
Marriage is a marathon, not a sprint.
Learn to ride the waves.
The baby years are tough. In fact, they are SO tough that in China, it is allegedly illegal for Husband to file for divorce when wife is pregnant until baby is at least 1 years old. Riding out those baby years is half the battle!
Watering The Plants
Marriage advice from your favorite divorce lawyer- the best comes from my mother! Marriage is like a plant. You gotta water it every day. Never be complacent!
For more, see Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, and Part 6
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