Root of Bitterness Letting Go of Resentment in Divorce
See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:15
Divorce is one of life’s most painful disruptions. It destroys everything previously knew, leaving us with broken pieces.
In the midst of that pain, resentment can quietly take root.
Scripture warns us in Hebrews 12:15 about the “root of bitterness.” Bitterness grows slowly. If you don’t recognize this – it will continue to destroy your life.
What Bitterness Looks Like
Resentment in divorce rarely announces itself. It often shows up as self-protection: “I just don’t want to be taken advantage of again.” Or as fierce justice: “They need to pay for what they did.”
Sometimes, it feels like the only thing keeping us upright.
But it’s also exhausting. And isolating. And it can keep us stuck long after the papers are signed.
Bitterness isn’t always anger. Sometimes it’s sadness we never expressed. Or grief we weren’t allowed to feel. Or shame we’ve carried too long.
The Danger of Letting It Grow
Hebrews tells us bitterness causes “trouble” and “defiles many.” That sounds dramatic, but if you’ve lived through it, you know how true it is. I’ve seen many fallen due to this.
Bitterness Hurts
Your healing: It keeps you anchored to the pain and unable to move forward with clarity or peace.
Your relationships: It bleeds into how you speak, how you parent, how you trust again.
Your faith: It clouds your ability to receive grace, because it’s hard to give what you haven’t received.
We may think bitterness protects us, but in the end, it isolates us. It builds a wall we didn’t mean to live behind.
What Are You Rooted In?
Instead of letting a root of bitterness grow – plant a root in Christ’s love.
Jesus invites you into a better kind of rootedness—one grounded not in what someone did to you, but in what He has done for you.
Rooted in Love: What It Looks Like
Being rooted in Christ’s love doesn’t mean you won’t feel pain or frustration. It means you choose to stay connected to the One whose love is deeper than your wounds.
Jesus’ love defines you – not your ex, not the court, not your past.
Let go of vengeance. Not because justice doesn’t matter, but because your peace matters more.
Allow your children witness grace, so they don’t inherit a legacy of resentment.
When we are rooted in love, forgiveness becomes possible—not as a one-time act, but as a daily victory.
Healing comes when bitterness loses its foothold.
Prayer
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19
Recent Comments