Meek is Not Weak

Meek is Not Weak

Blessed are the Meek

Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”  Matthew 5:5

Today, I wanted to examine this verse and apply it to the practice of Family Law.

Most people stay away from “meek” lawyers.  The adjective “meek” connotes “weakness”, “timidity”, “impotence” and “loser”.

If you’re going to Court, you want a gladiator, a fighter, a WINNER!

Probably true in most areas of law, but not family law.

Family Law is Special

Family courts are different than civil or criminal courts, for 2 big reasons.

1.  The “other side” in a family law case is YOUR FAMILY.  You will see them again.
2.  You are dividing stuff.  There is NO winning when the end result is division.  There is no physical gain, only loss.  (arguably there may be emotional or mental gain, though that is another blog post!).

Meek is the family law attorney who uses the law for good.

A meek lawyer knows the law and uses it for the good.  They can also defend against improper use of the law, – you see a lot of improper use of law in divorce courts.  The law is good if used properly.

Meek is the family law attorney who ranks peace over money.

The goal of a family law case is to find calm in the midst of the storm, to provide peace for the children and the family in transition.

When emotions run high, people tend to overreact.  It is easy for lawyers to race to the Court – litigation is what drives the billable hours and pays the bills.

Meek is the lawyer that recognizes emphasizing peace won’t make them rich on earth, but it’s best for their clients.

Meek is the family law attorney who lifts up their client.

In any situation, the right counseling puts people on the right path.  The right words lead to the right actions.  The wrong ones lead to destruction.

An effective family law attorney always seeks to lift up their client’s spirits.  If they are on the path of self-destruction, the meek family law attorney will advise and provide all options.  Court is not the only way – it is the WORST way.

You have choices.

Meek is the family law attorney who understands family.

Your divorce will not last forever.  At the end of your case, all of the lawyers, judges, mediators, forensic accountants, vocational evaluators all move on to their next cases, and may never see you again.

Your family will continue to be your family.

Meek is the family law attorney who resolves conflict.

Your divorce lawyer MUST know how to effective resolve conflict.  

Meek is the family law attorney who prays for their clients.

I have been a family law attorney for nearly 23 years.

The more years I practice, the less faith I have in the legal system.

Did you know that some judges who are appointed to preside over your case have little to no experience in family law?

And, they have ZERO knowledge of you and your family.

Meek is the family law attorney who puts their faith in God, and prays for their clients.

Avoid the Self-Labeled “Pitbull Lawyer”

I have written extensively on “pitbull” lawyers.  The mark of a pitbull is someone who places their selfish interests above their client’s.  It is easy to disguise the self-interest as “protection against the enemy”.   Avoid the Pitbull Lawyer.

Your Ex Is Not Your Enemy

Your family law case will end, but your family will not.

The enemy IS out there, but it’s not your ex.  Sometimes, however, you are your own enemy.

Don’t Allow Unscrupulous Lawyers To Mess Up Your Family

I have had many, many clients who shared that their prior lawyers “pushed them” to file domestic violence restraining orders against the other side, only to fire them after the orders were granted, money ran out.  These aggressive lawyers increased the conflict to generate fees, only to drop them after the money runs out.  Many clients have regretted filing the restraining orders.  “I only wish I knew what the consequences were.  I would have never done that.”

Meek Does Not Mean Ineffective

Meek does not mean incompetent.  Obviously, if you have a family law case, you should look for an attorney who is competent in family law.

But always, always seek the peacemakers.

Your family law attorney is only with you a very short time.

Your family is forever.