But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6
Couples
Give more grace.
You may find yourself searching the internet, browsing articles for marriage advice. While some of them be helpful, they are fallen people’s books. I once saw a TikTok video where a woman claims her husband is perfect but she is not “in love” with him, so she is doing him a favor by divorcing him, and encouraged all her followers to leave a “perfectly good man” to pursue love. Another video featured a woman boasting about refusing to do any housework or sacrifice for her husband because she isn’t his “mother”.
I really cannot think of anything more destructive (and selfish).
Having gone through many conflicts in life, the greatest blessing in my life is my husband. We are not meant to handle this life alone, and if you are blessed to be in a marriage, I pray that you will cherish it and not destroy it. (And especially because you find yourself “not in love”, or “refuse to sacrifice”.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
The enemy lurks out there, and truly, it’s not your spouse.
TikTok is not where you should get advice. (It is probably the most fallen of all social media platforms.)
Read God’s word. Email me and I will get you a copy.
If you find yourself in a hole with no way out, please pick up a Bible and just start reading. Or if you like music, listen to Scripture being sung at Scripture Singer.
Give yourself more grace!
Pride
If there is conflict in your marriage, where does it come from?
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:1-3
Marriage is Sacred
In the modern world, marriage has become “anything goes” – an affront to the sacred institution created by God. Prop 3 recently passed, allowing marriage between anything and anyone. No limits.
It’s no wonder that divorce rates are as high as they are.
We really need to attack the root of the problem. Marriage is not just a contract. It is a covenant.
Court is Not Where Families Belong
If marriage were more sacred, there would be fewer divorces and fewer abuses of the court system.
I have written and spoken ad nauseum about the problem with divorcing litigaants’ expectations of the court system.
If you are divorcing, litigation is NOT the answer. You are just going to make it worse, because no one wins in divorce. The Judge will not address the cheating or the lying. You are just feeding the system.
My Heart is Heavy
This upcoming holiday, my prayer goes out to those of you with family strife. If you are reading this – please do reach out and submit a prayer request.
Divorce is generational – it won’t just affect you, but your children. Read The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce.
If you have already divorced, and you have words of wisdom for those going through it, please send!
Give more grace.
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