Why I Offer Free Divorce Mediation Orientations (But No Free Legal Consultations)
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18
Divorce is Stressful
Divorce is often cited as one of life’s most stressful events.
One of the most well-known tools for measuring stress is the Holmes-Rahe-Stress-inventory, developed in 1967 by psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe.
The tool ranks life events based on their perceived stress levels, assigning “Life Change Units” (LCUs) per stressor.
On this scale, divorce comes in at 73 LCUs, making it the second most stressful event—right behind the death of a spouse, which scores 100 LCUs.
Other events, like imprisonment (63 LCUs) or losing a job (47 LCUs), rank lower.
Divorce is more stressful than losing a job or going to prison!
Mediation Orientations
So, what should you do while navigating the stressful storm of divorce?
Set aside your emotions. And find a way to end it civilly. Sometimes it’s just not possible. But if it is – and you can set aside your pride – do it. And choose divorce mediation.
These days, I’ve chosen to focus my energy on helping couples resolve their differences than being a hired gun in Court.
While I still consult on many litigated family law cases, I would much rather spend time making peace, not war.
Mediation is a meaningful part of what I do, and that’s why I offer free 15-minute orientations to couples who are exploring divorce mediation.
Mediation Orientation is NOT Legal Advice
But, let’s be clear: a mediation orientation isn’t a chance for you to obtaine free legal advice.
Unlike an initial consultation, mediation orientations do not involve the dispensing legal advice.
As a mediator, I am a neutral. I don’t represent EITHER of you. In my experience, people are intimidated by lawyers. MY role as a mediator is to soothe and be a solution, NOT intimidation.
The mediation orientation is a chance for both of you to meet me, and ask questions about the process. It is designed for you to feel comfortable with me as your mediator, and for us to explore how I can help you reach an agreement.
It’s about laying the groundwork for peace, not prepping for war.
Mediation Orientations: A Collaborative Starting Point
The mediation orientation is a chance for both people to come to the table—literally and figuratively.
It’s not about one side “winning” or getting advice to outmaneuver the other. Instead, it’s a space where two people show up willing to work together on a solution. That spirit of cooperation isn’t just nice to have—it’s the foundation for reaching a resolution that actually sticks.
In my experience, when both parties are open to this process, it sets the tone for progress rather than prolonged conflict.
But it only works if you both say yes to it. If it’s just one person, it’s not an orientation. It becomes one-on-one legal advice.
Less Drama, More Healing
Here’s what 25 years has shown me: couples who choose mediation can communicate with each other. They know their family best. Unlike litigation, where couples are completely surrendering their rights to their attorneys and the court system. In mediations, couples participate. They don’t relinquish their rights to lawyers and judges.
Anyone who has ever underwent a divorce will attest to this: No one wins in divorce.
Why I Offer It for Free
I offer free 15-minutes mediation orientations because they’re about collaboration, communication, and resolution—values I believe in deeply.
If you’re ready to sit down with your ex and work toward a better future, I’d love to be your neutral mediator, and I’ll gladly meet with both of you.
If your ex won’t attend, unfortunately, mediation may not be an option. Both of you must choose mediation for it to work. If mediation isn’t an option and you need tailored legal guidance, please schedule a paid consultation for legal advice. Unfortunately, I do not offer free legal advice – many use them to “conflict out” attorneys—tying them up so their ex’s options shrink.
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