Uncontested Divorce Misconceptions
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
It’s Not Uncontested Just Because You Say It Is
When people contact us about an uncontested divorce, the conversation often starts with something like:
“I have an uncontested divorce. I just need to file the paperwork.”
Sure, that sounds great. Everyone wants that.
But unilaterally declaring your divorce is “uncontested” doesn’t makeit so.
What Is an Uncontested Divorce?
An uncontested divorce means that both spouses have reached a full agreement on ALL of these issues:
- Child Custody and Visitation/Parenting Time
- Child Support
- Spousal support
- Property division, including Debt responsibility
- Any other relevant legal and financial issues
You both agree on EVERYTHING. Nobody’s arguing, nobody’s going to court. You just need to formalize it.
No, You Cannot Have an “Uncontested Divorce” When the Other Person Doesn’t Know
If your ex is in the dark about the divorce, there’s no agreement. It’s not uncontested.
Repeat.
If your ex is in the dark about the divorce, there’s no agreement. It’s not uncontested.
Thinking you can file paperwork and call it uncontested because you assume your ex won’t object is like planning a wedding without telling the bride or groom.
It’s not just naively optimistic; it’s legally impossible.
Courts require that the other spouse be formally notified of the divorce filing; this is called “due process.”
Due process ensures the other side is notified and provided an opportunity to respond.
If you file without their knowledge, you’re setting yourself up for a motion to dismiss (once they find out what you did).
It’s Not Just “Paperwork”
The phrase “I just need to file the paperwork” oversimplifies the process. Di
vorce paperwork isn’t a one-and-done form you slap together and call it a day.
It involves the diligent and detailed exchanging of preliminary declarations of disclosures.
Without your ex’s input (and signature), you can’t finalize critical legal documents.
Filing incomplete or one-sided paperwork will likely get rejected by the court, wasting your time and money.
The Common Misunderstanding – My Spouse Agrees to the Divorce
Agreeing to divorce is the first step to an uncontested divorce.
It unlocks the next step – which is, agreeing to ALL the legal issues listed above: child custody, support, property division. There’s no shortcut around that.
You can’t “do” an uncontested divorce to someone. You can only do it with them.
What You Can Do Instead
If your goal is to avoid court and resolve things peacefully, that’s a great starting point.
But the next step isn’t filing forms. It’s getting your spouse on board. Talk to them. See if they’re open to negotiating terms and working together. If they are, then yes—uncontested divorce may be possible.
We suggest divorce mediation. This is where you can come to the table, and the mediator (a neutral faciliator) helps both of you go through all the issues to reach a complete and enforceable settlement agreement, out of court.
Your Divorce is Not Uncontested Just Because You Say It Is
An uncontested divorce is a mutual decision—not a unilateral declaration. It requires collaboration, agreement, and follow-through from BOTH parties.
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