Think Before You Speak
#1 Cause of Divorce: Words
Words destroy a marriage much more than adultery, addiction, and abuse.
I said what I said.
You see, we live in a world that tells us, “It doesn’t matter!” “You do you!” “Tell people what you think!” “Give them a piece of your mind!”
Wrong. Words matter – especially in marriage.
Words Matter in Marriage
Don’t believe me? I once handled a divorce (many, many years ago) where there was prostitution, drug abuse, and all sorts of infidelity.
The couple went through counseling, treated the abuse and actually reconciled on those issues.
But what ended them were ultimately words. Words like, “I am not attracted to you.” “You are stupid”.
Never Say Mean Things
A simple google search “harmful words to spouse” will bring up a list of things you never should say in your marriage. Even when you are fighting.
Practice T-H-I-N-K
Before words fly out of your mouth, guard it with the THINK rule.
T = truthful. Is what are you are about to say truth? And I don’t mean “your truth” or “my truth”. Though there are always 3 sides to every divorce story, there is only ONE truth.
H = helpful. Is what you are about to say helpful? Does it build others up?
I = inspiring. Is what you are about to say inspiring? Does it have a purpose to inspire? Or is it generally useless?
N = necessary. Is it absolutely necessary to say what you are about to say?
K= kind. This is the one element that is missing in most post-COVID relationships. Kindness. Most of the time, the way in which you say things will override the words themselves.
Fruits of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23
Now, I know we ALL learned these in Sunday school. Repeat after me!
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
There is no LAW that can go against these. Many people mistakenly believe Family Courts will exact the revenge they seek on their spouse. That divorce should be used as punishment.
They are wrong. Also, they forget, the law is only good if used properly.
Great Verses to Remember For Your Marriage, and Even Divorce!
Maybe your marriage was destroyed by words. The destruction does not need to continue in divorce. I love these verses and want to share them with you.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21
Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues. Proverbs 10:19
Prayer
Lord, keep your arm around our shoulders, and your hand over our mouths. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
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