My Spouse Refuses to Sign Divorce Papers
I used to give out these candles whenever divorce papers came back signed.
How Do I Get One? My Spouse Won’t Sign Papers!
First, WHY don’t they agree?
They Don’t Agree to Divorce
This is actually a big problem. Spouses who feel abandoned or dismissed will be very difficult. And God forbid they hire a nasty lawyer. You don’t want this.
If they do not agree to divorce, I highly recommend marriage counseling. There is a service that therapists offer called “discernment counseling” or “decision counseling“.
In discernment counseling, the goal isn’t staying together. The goal is being on the same page so emotions don’t prolong the legal part (divorce).
Read more about decision counseling here: Am I Ready for a Divorce?
They Don’t Agree to the Terms
If they refuse to sign papers because they don’t agree to the terms of the divorce, you have many options.
Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is when both of you hire one neutral third-party (the mediator), who is educated on the legal issues of divorce (child custody, child support, spousal support, property division).
The mediator facilitates your discussions, and helps you reach an agreement.
Helpful Articles About Divorce Mediation
Mediation Movement: Lawyers Reducing Conflict
Divorce Mediation: Because No One Wins in Divorce
Mediation is Divorce for Grown-Ups
Peacemaker Lawyers for Divorce, Not Pitbull Lawyers
Spouse Refuses Divorce Mediation: What to Do
Hire a Lawyer and Litigate
You also have the option of hiring a lawyer and litigating. Litigation is lengthy and costly process.
And when you go to Court, some one must lose.
File Your Divorce
When you hire lawyer, they will file your divorce.
They will have your spouse served. See I Just Got Served With Divorce Papers, Now What?
If They Don’t Respond, Default
After they are served, if they do not file a Response, you have an option to Request Entry of Default and then have Default Judgment Entered. It’s the same process as when you cannot locate your spouse.
See How Do I Get a Divorce When I Can’t Find My Spouse?
IF They DID Respond, set for TRIAL
Unfortunately, if they did file a Response, your only optio would be to Request a Trial Setting Conference.
At the Trial Setting Conference, the Judge will set it for trial.
Trial procedure is super complicated and burdensome. Make sure you hire an attorney.
What If They Previously Signed a “Deal Memo” (Memorandum of Understanding or MOU), But Refuses to Sign Judgment?
Ahh, this! Sometimes you spend 12 hours in a settlement conference, and at the 12th hour, parties are hungry and tired, and just decide to “sign something”.
Is this enforceable?
That depends.
Anytime you have a written agreement, make sure you insert in your agreement these magic numbers – 664.6, which refers to California Code of Civil Procedure section 664.6. CCP 664.6 states, “If parties to pending litigation stipulate, in a writing signed by the parties outside of the presence of the court or orally before the court, for settlement of the case, or part thereof, the court, upon motion, may enter judgment pursuant to the terms of the settlement.”
It also states, “If requested by the parties, the court may retain jurisdiction over the parties to enforce the settlement until performance in full of the terms of the settlement.”
Boom. If they had signed something before, and now are refusing to sign the final paperwork, file a Motion to Enforce Per CCP 664.6. Read more here.
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