The Purpose-Driven Divorce

Purpose Driven Divorce
Mission Statement

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.  Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.  Proverbs 31:8-9

My purpose as an attorney is to guide clients through difficult situations with as little destruction as possible.

Divorce is difficult, but it does not have to be nasty.

Do not be afraid.  The journey is difficult, but you are not alone.  I believe in God’s sovereignty.  His plan overrides everyone and everything.  This is the 50-20 Rule, and if you follow it, you have nothing to fear.

The 50/20 Rule is found in Genesis 50:20: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Family Law is Different

In civil and criminal court, there is liability and guilt.  Someone is right, and the other is wrong.

Family law is totally different than civil or criminal law.

Family law isn’t about right and wrong.   In 1969, Ronald Reagan passed no-fault divorce in California.    You no longer need to prove someone is wrong to obtain a divorce.  In fact, the Judge doesn’t care. You won’t get more custody, support or property if someone cheated.

Family courts aren’t in the revenge business, and Judges have no desire to punish you or your spouse.

Restructuring the Family

In family law, parties who previously built a life together are now going their separate ways.

Where do their children go?

How will they divide their assets?

Will they have enough to pay the bills?

The goal is to find solutions, not create more problems.  The goal is restructuring, not further destruction.

You are Not a Victim

Divorce and Self-Victimization go hand in hand.

Get out of that way of thinking.  You are not a victim.

In the majority of my cases,  no one is 100% right or 100% wrong. (And it doesn’t matter!)

Good people don’t normally marry bad people.  Labeling the other side “toxic”, “narcissist” , or “borderline” prolongs the pain, and makes you prey for unscrupulous lawyers.  Remember – lawyers are not doctors and cannot diagnose personality disorders.  They can, however, cash in on your fear!

Maybe something or someone has changed.  But at the end of the day, the relationship has ended, the law doesn’t care who is at fault, and it is necessary to figure out what to do next.

Consider Divorce Mediation

I believe in most cases, given the correct information and guidance from a knowledgeable family lawyer, the parties can reach a settlement agreement regarding their children and assets on their own, without the costly intervention of court.  This is why I firmly believe in divorce mediation.  I also believe that while everyone seeks attorneys for guidance, as a solution to their problems, the truth is – many times, unscrupulous attorneys create additional problems, capitalizing on petty conflict and preying on fear.  Another reason to choose divorce mediation!

Family Law is More Family Than Law

Remember:  marriage and divorce aren’t just LEGAL issues.

They are personal decisions with important legal consequences.  Knowing family law is the bare minimum requirement of being a good divorce lawyer.  My mission is to guide you through transitions with as little destruction as possible.

Do not be afraid.

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If you have any further questions or need additional information about The Purpose-Driven Divorce or other services, please do not hesitate to email office@purposedrivenlawyers.com or call (626) 765-5767.